Do you often have those moments? Those moments of weakness? Those moments of breakdown? Those moments where you just need to be held, in the arms of someone who cares for you and understands. Nothing needs to be spoken, simply having a shoulder to lean on will do just fine. Having that both literal and figurative “support”. Someone who may not understand you, but is there when you need them. Someone who may not be with  you all the time, but loves you enough to be there when you need them. Someone who doesn’t necessarily understand your situation, but can sympathize and just hold you.

I used to have that. Every single part. A shoulder to lean on, a support system, someone who listens. But, just as I suspected, it was too good to be true. It lasted for awhile, but not for long enough. Learning to cope on your own is good and all; it builds character. But, there are just those times you don’t want to handle it alone. You want someone to be there. You want someone to give you that hug. You want someone to tell you it may not be okay right now but they will be there for you until it gets better. You want that support system. You want someone to care about you when you couldn’t give two shits about yourself. You want someone to love, maybe not intimately, but genuinely care for.

It’s then, when the tears are streaming down your face, sitting in your bed, alone, with nothing but your stuffed animal to hug and necklace to hold, that you realize, it won’t happen. It’ll never happen. No one will come to the rescue, no matter how much you wish, hope, and pray. No one will be there the way you want them to be there. No one will understand. No one will save you.

It seems like it’ll never happen, but you continue to hope. But reality is, no one can save you from the nightmare you live. No one can know what you need unless you let them. It’s hard, I know. But when the right person comes, it’ll happen, at least that’s what I like to believe. So, hang in there kid, I know no one can save you now, but one day all of the suffering will be worth it.